Currently Listening The Unforgettable Fire By U2 Pride (In The Name Of Love) see related

(17:32)

It's official.  Go to Coach's Corner for details.

Currently Listening Permission to Land By The Darkness Black Shuck see related

(20:42)

So I'm going to keep posting on here until I think of a new name for my new Xanga.  No sense in creating it when I don't know what to call it.  That name will also be used for my new MySpace URL.  I have two choices for the new name: Chrome Dome or The Cutting Edge.  Chrome Dome is obvious because I'm bald.  The Cutting Edge I just think is cool sounding.  I was trying to think of an actual reason to shut down this site as well as my current MySpace when it occured to me that the name is the reason.  The Big Dark Cloud.  Kind of gloomy and dark sounding.  Not a whole lot of happiness involved in that name.  I thought it was funny when I first started using it, but now I associate it with being down and worrying so much and other things that have decided to escape my mind at the moment.  So there you have it.  There's the reason for changing things up on here.  As for the e-mail- on_the_edge- it gives the feeling that maybe I'm always on edge and not relaxed.  Again, not a great thing.  Just thought I'd share.

So I went to the walk-in clinic, as I said I would earlier.  Even with being there right when it opened, I still ended up waiting for 2 hours to see the doctor.  Usually there are three of them, but two of them are away on holidays, leaving the lone doctor to do all walk-ins plus her normal patients in her family practise.  Long story short, I sat there for 2 hours just to be told that I need to relax.  She says it's most likely anxiety/nerves/stress..... whatever you want to call it and I just need to relax.  Jackie was right all of those times.  Of course, when is she not?  Hehe.  I really should listen when it comes to that.  She seems to know what's good for me.  The upside to the 2 hour wait is it gave me a chance to study for my Law course.  My final exam is on June 7.  It's a lot of time but if I put it off, that date will creep up on me.  After the doctor saw me, I went to Safeway to pick up a few things, went home for a quick lunch, and then went to work for 3.5 hours.  Missed out on making $56.25, but at the same time I'm glad I went.  It made sense to go.

And finally I think I need to replace my cell phone.  I've been having a lot of problems with it.  For those who care, it's the Motorola V220.  Apparently there have been a lot of problems with them and mine is no exception.  Earlier this evening it sent a text message all on its own.  I was sitting here doing some work when my phone started playing Welcome To The Jungle, which is my text message alert.  I looked and it's telling me that a message has been sent.  I look in the outbox and see a blank message in there and see that it has been sent to Jackie.  I'm sitting there thinking, "Seriously...."  Here I'm trying to give the girl space by not calling or text messeging her and my phone sends her a blank text message.  Well pretty soon I'm on the phone with her explaining what happened and she was happy for the heads up and we may go for coffee sometime within the next couple of days.  I wanted to wait until at least Monday before seeing if we could get together to talk.  I almost wonder if maybe this happened for a reason.  Guess I'll find out, eh?

Well I guess that's about it for now.  I need to find something to do.

Currently Listening High Voltage By AC/DC High Voltage see related

(7:21)

"Do, or do not.  There is no try.  If you try to do something, you'll never accomplish anything.  If you go ahead and do something though, you'll accomplish what you set out to do."

Some of you may be wondering what all of these little things are about.  Things happened on the weekend between Jackie and I and I've come to the realization that if I don't do anything about how I've been, I'm never going to see her again.  Basically what happened was I tried to get her to talk to me when clearly she didn't want to talk and just wanted some alone time.  Rather than give her that bit of alone time and talk to her though, I persisted and it only made her angrier and also scared her a bit because I wouldn't leave her alone.  So now I'm giving her space.  It'll be good for both of us.  I need to get things together and I know she wants me to as well.  This bit of time will help me get that going so that I don't make the same mistake I did Sunday night.  I do have hope that things will work out and we'll be able to put this behind us.  I ran into her on Monday and we talked a little while, which is when she said she wanted that space and I agreed, even though I wanted to fix things right then.  I've realized that sometimes you can't fix things right away and that sometimes people just need space before fixing things.  But then the next day, on Tuesday, I was looking for parking at a walk-in clinic because I had been feeling nauseous since Saturday and had taken the day off, when I got into a bit of a fender-bender.  It was raining and the guy ahead of me stopped suddenly because someone in front of him did the same.  Because of the rain I started skidding and tried to squeeze into the space that was available to try and avoid hitting the car in front of me.  Unfortunately I glanced the car and seemed to take most of the damage.  After we exchanged particulars, I tried calling my parents because I was both shaken, pissed off, and needed a bit of advice.  I didn't get either of them so, not knowing who else to call, I called Jackie.  As expected, she didn't answer.  I left a message on her voicemail, not really thinking that she'd call back, given our current situation.  A few minutes later she called back though, talked me down, and we talked a bit before letting each other go.  I figure that's a good sign.  She called, which to me means she still cares for me.  It's also good that we were able to talk about things at least for a little.  I'm hoping this works out because she really means a lot to me.

My temp job has been extended to the end of June.  It has it's pros and cons.  Major con being that it's in Landmark.  Another con is that the work isn't that great.  On the plus side, it's a job and I'm making $12.50/hour doing it.  Might as well stick with it.  Unfortunately I'm missing work again today because of my stomach.  Tuesday I was home because of the nausea, which passed in the evening and allowed me to go to work yesterday.  However, last night after I got home from work I started having the other kind of stomach problem and it's still bothering me.  So I'm going to the walk-in clinic as soon as it's open so I can get checked out and also get a doctor's note because this is reduclous.  Six days into the assignment and I've missed two days already because of this.  I'm very frustrated.  I'm hoping this doesn't last.

Well, I think this could be one of my last posts on here.  As part of my changing things, I'm also changing things I use, like xanga and myspace.  I've already changed my e-mail address so we'll see.  You could say it's a work in progress.  New look and the whole deal.  I'll let people know what the new site is when I get to changing it.  For now though, we'll see you later.

Currently Listening In Violet Light By Tragically Hip It's A Good Life If You Don't Weaken see related

(17:01)

Think before you act.  You may not think what you're doing is wrong, but in hind site you could end up making a bad situation worse by not thinking of what the consequences could be by taking that action.  In the end, you could risk hurting someone you care for. 

Currently Listening One Day Remains By Alter Bridge Metalingus see related

(19:42)

Alter Bridge - Metalingus

I've been defeated and brought down
Dropped to my knees when hope ran out
The time has come to change my ways

On this day
I see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind

I'll never long for what might have been
Regret won't waste my life again
I won't look back
I'll fight to remain

On this day
I see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind
On this day
It's so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive

Fear will kill me
All I could be
Lift these sorrows
Let me breathe
Could you set me free
Could you set me free

On this day
I see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
We'll leave it all behind
On this day
It's so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive

Get it together, or you'll never see her again.....